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Blogs > tresennui > Succumbing to Curiousity |
Have I had all the good ones around here?
Have I had all the good ones around here? I've been divorced more than 11 years and until recently been pretty lucky finding men I enjoy being with, both socially and sexually. I am always willing to meet someone I encounter online, if after reading their profile or chatting there seems to be a possibility of becoming friends. I still haven't stopped taking a chance and meeting for a meal or drink....yet. I currently have been seeing someone for over a year...very casual FWB situation which works well for both of us. Nothing monogamous, we both have no problem if we see people we've known in the past, or try making new friends. For the last few months I have been making an extra effort to go out with other men from A F F and other dating sites, hoping to find someone that might possibly add some excitement to my life. The trouble I have encountered is I can't seem to find anyone that really turns me on. For many years, I was able to find many men who I'd made a great connection with chatting. We'd spend hours exchanging amusing and insightful IMs, leading to a strong desire to meet, anticipating that there would be a physical attraction. And there was. Some of those men I still communicate with and occasionally see, but the excitement isn't the same. Then there are other men, who for reasons I can't even remember, have lost contact with. Sometimes timing was bad...we both had other things going on in our lives that stopped us from continuing to see each other. Occasionally I wonder if I should contact a couple of them to see if the spark would still be there. Not just a sexual spark, really liked and enjoyed each other in many other ways too. Somewhere in my IM and email archives they still exist. At the moment, I'm feeling very discouraged. In the last few weeks I've gone out with 4 men who I thought had potential...none of which I care to see again. We met and carried on decent conversations (I can talk to anyone), but I felt zero physical attraction or affection for and found them somewhat boring. Why I'm writing this, I'm not sure. I'm not asking for men to hit on me and say they'll try to get me out of this slump...finding someone for sex isn't the issue. It's finding someone that if I have sex with once...I will want to have sex with again and also look forward to just hanging out with. In the meantime, some would think I shouldn't complain, because I do have a very good friend, I see on a regular basis, who is very good to me and we truly are friends and lovers...well not love exactly....Wish I could be content with what I have. |
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Don't give up sweetness. I hope you find the man of your dreams - as he is out there somewhere...
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I think it might be more of you wanting to settle down a bit to find the right guy to be with, and that's ok, wanting to be choosy, it's your right. I do think you need to find the right person to spark with. If the spark isn't there, even if you go through with it, you're just going through the motions. And sometimes if that's what you want, then it's ok, but if that's not what you want, you have the right to be choosy and look for the right guy. However...on the other foot, don't close yourself off. There have people I had an instant spark with and others that took a slow burn and then I realized these people were indeed attractive once I got to know them better. Just my two cents.
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Sound like a dilemma, but I agree with you to keep on looking and seeking. You have to be satisfied with yourself and your choices. Good luck.
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Hey Tres, Like you, I have been meeting people from here and other sites, but none seem to make me feel that SPARK so to speak. great people, some are still friends, but no click in the area of wanting to get intimate with them. Maybe it's my older age, where I do not need to bed them all, just the quality ones. Like you, I have a person in my life that I am close with and share some fun times with from time to time, and maybe that's why I am not hard pressed for sex, as what we have together is very fulfilling and enjoyable. but I think that it has more to do with the respect and friendship we share that makes the limited time together so much more enjoyable.
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Maybe you are just battling to find someone better than the one you have at the moment. A "bench mark has been set" sort of thing. Keep on looking.
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"a friend in need is a friend in need" - in all your trials and tribulations, dont lose what you have with your friend-lover. id give anything to be friend-lovers again with my lifetime friend and former sometimes lover. "well only get through this if we work together. if we dont, none of us will"
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