Bad Bad Leroy Brown  

EnigmaInitiative 51F  
2460 posts
11/17/2019 8:11 am
Bad Bad Leroy Brown


Will Continue First Comment

Grace

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

The Origin Story has begun


EnigmaInitiative 51F  
2599 posts
11/17/2019 8:12 am

Grace

It started to become obvious, to me, that Fetlife thrived on drama. It was Social Justice Warriors against Incels; Men against Women; Straight vs Gay; Spectators vs Participants, Dominant vs Master; and the list went on. It was like most had a preset idea of what the other was, and that thought didn't allow for individuality of any sort. If you didn't fit their mold, it didn't matter who you were, you were on the outside looking in wondering where to turn.

In some ways, I started embodying their behaviors...I'm ashamed to say. I did things purely for the thrill of it all. I joined Return to Sender (a group where people put up emails that are sent to them, excluding any identifying information). I was meanspirited to people...maybe in a more, shall we say, abstract way, but still unkind. I was snarky when I could have been empathetic, and I hated myself for it. I couldn't keep living that way. It's why I decided to talk with the guy, the wordy guy. We are just going to call him Wordy for this part of THE story.

Mr Wordy, I went all primal on. You all should have seen me, I outed myself up one side and down the other, admitting I only had a high school education. Telling him all about my work history; how my mother died. Cheeze it, did I put myself on the line, answering each of his answers, to me, with kindness and care. I pushed myself; stayed up into the wee hours of the night; and tried to get through to this man. While in my inbox, here marched person after person telling me he was a “lost cause”. The thing is, though, I don't really believe that. So, I ignored all those people, every single one of them.

When all was said and done? I had his respect, I had earned it in some weird way. He was in my inbox telling me all kinds of secrets about himself. Secrets that I'm not going to share with any of you. Secrets that won't hurt anyone, but him. This is when I realized I tapped into something different in myself. This is when I realized the Truth would Set Me Free.

It was during this time that I started taking more control of my home life, as well. I started talking with Nick more about how his behavior was affecting me. I know, full well, that I'm an emotional sponge. The Empath: Emotional Sponge Empaths are highly sensitive, loving, and supportive. They are finely tuned instruments when it comes to emotions and tend to feel everything, sometimes to an extreme. Have you been called "too emotional" or "overly sensitive"? If a friend is upset do you start feeling it too? Do you replenish your energy by being alone and tend to get exhausted in crowds? Are you sensitive to noise, smells, and excessive talking? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-freedom/201102/what-is-your-emotional-type

I'm fucking sensitive to so much.

I'm learning, slowly, how to put up emotional walls. But, this shit, my friends, it's fucking difficult. I've always felt my best writing comes from my feelings, and I truly adore writing. When I try to turn off my feelings too much, I end up like I was for the last three years. In an emotional wasteland of my own making, where I have no motivation to do ANYTHING.

The problem, since moving in here, was that I took on too much. I tried to manage Nick's feelings and life while forgetting about my own. I forgot all about the Debbi that loved to write, until I started writing to Wordy Guy. It wasn't good writing, by any stretch of the imagination. I've read it over, it was choppy and worded poorly. But, I was writing again, and it felt good. (It's still there, by the way, everything I wrote to him)

Meanwhile, I was making more friends on Fetlife. It seems my honest efforts didn't go unnoticed. I was still talking with Jeff, at this time. (Remember, Jeff was a friend of Val, the bigoted Trump Supporter) And, still taking care of my cats, all of them. From the feral ones that never come into the house; to the ones who come in when they feel like it, but won't let me pet them; to the ones who let me pet them and come in the house; to LoverBoy, or Blondie, who is in a class by himself; to Wonton, my first baby; to NightStalker Aka Demon Spawn who became Demon Spawn because I spoiled him rotten the first six months he got here (and still do, she says as she looks at him lying on the bed next to her)

No, I don't know how many cats they are, haven't you been listening? I don't like MATH, or do I? Seriously, folks, I'm actually quite good at math, simple math. I'm actually quite good at Algebra, too. Just don't like Money, Clocks, or Calendars. I struggled at Geometry, BIG TIME, and Calculus might as well be a foreign language. Simple math? I can do that shit in my head.

Now, listen, it's VERY difficult to keep my brain in chronological thinking mode. It's emotionally exhausting to force myself to think in these terms. It's not how my brain usually functions. It's why I keep stopping mid story, my brain wants to do something else and not focus on this anymore.

So, the next part of THE Story will be about how I took on the biggest bully on Fetlife. R2D2 or Droid.

Later, when I feel like it.

“Bad, Bad Leroy Brown”

by

Jim Croce

Well the South side of Chicago
Is the baddest part of town
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of a man named Leroy Brown
Now Leroy more than trouble
You see he stand 'bout six foot four
All the downtown ladies call him "Treetop Lover"
All the men just call him "Sir"
And it's bad, bad Leroy Brown
The baddest man in the whole damned town
Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog
Now Leroy he a gambler
And he like his fancy clothes
And he like to wave his diamond rings
In front of everybody's nose
He got a custom Continental
He got an Eldorado too
He got a thirty two gun in his pocket for fun
He got a razor in his shoe
And it's bad, bad Leroy Brown
The baddest man in the whole damned town
Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog
Now Friday 'bout a week ago
Leroy shootin' dice
And at the edge of the bar
Sat a girl named Doris
And oo that girl looked nice
Well he cast his eyes upon her
And the trouble soon began
And Leroy Brown learned a lesson
'Bout messin' with the wife of a jealous man
And it's bad, bad Leroy Brown
The baddest man in the whole damned town
Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog
Well the two men took to fighting
And when they pulled them off the floor
Leroy looked like a jigsaw puzzle
With a couple of pieces gone
And it's bad, bad Leroy Brown
The baddest man in the whole damned town
Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog
And it's bad, bad Leroy Brown
The baddest man in the whole damned town
Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog
Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: James Croce

Fuck Yeah, I feel this song choice is Funny.

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

The Origin Story has begun


Donna_N_Rikk 56M/54F
10 posts
11/17/2019 8:14 am

Nice Job !


PassionaKisses69 49M
48 posts
11/17/2019 8:35 am

Baddest man in the whole damned town


Logan0867 52M
177 posts
11/17/2019 2:01 pm

Too much at once, maybe? hugs


EnigmaInitiative 51F  
2599 posts
11/17/2019 2:05 pm

Thanks!

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

The Origin Story has begun


EnigmaInitiative 51F  
2599 posts
11/17/2019 2:06 pm

That's the song, yep.

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

The Origin Story has begun


EnigmaInitiative 51F  
2599 posts
11/17/2019 2:07 pm

    Quoting Logan0867:
    Too much at once, maybe? hugs
Why do ya think I went "nuts"?

Babe, I'm soooooo not done.

It's okay, I'm fine over here, really. I'll text ya in a bit.

Love You

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

The Origin Story has begun


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