My Second Act
Welcome to my blog! Definitely better than my first Act!! You'll find my plot points, some some good lines, and so-so acting in this Second Act! Hopefully it's worth the admission ticket!! Thanks for stopping by!
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Musings on my Second Act
Posted:Oct 11, 2020 2:32 pm
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2022 7:30 am
"Life is both fucked and fuckable."

He laughed when I wrote that.

My take o.n the iconic Dickens opening line of “A Tale of Two Cities”, updated into the modern vernacular because it is a more perfect summation of my life these last few months. I mean, 2020 has crept up on al.l of us unawares, but it creeped
up &then sucker-punched me right in the gut.

For once, I’ve got a secret and it’s my secret keep or tell. I’ve kept others’ secrets, often for years, but this one? This one is mine t.o do with as I will.
So, I have t.o write about it, talk about it, blog it, vlog it, even wrote a song about it.

yeah, and b.a.d. poetry, I’ve written some really bad, drunk poetry.

This is my journey now; this road I’m meandering down.
I’m inviting you come along for the ride. I’ll try stay the course between those painted white lines on the highway; between fucked and fuckable, and hopefully discover what the new normal looks like for m.e.
22 Comments , 1 Pending
Messages Missing?? Paranormal Activity Again??
Posted:Jan 13, 2022 10:32 am
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2022 8:15 am

Hi y'all!

Anyone else experiencing their messages disappearing?

I just went to check them today. My notification says I have some, but when I click on it to retrieve them, I got nuthin, nada, zip.

This is the 2nd time this has happened to me here in the last couple of months. What is going on??
Every Picture Tells a Story...but is it a true story?
Posted:Jan 11, 2022 7:16 am
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2022 7:20 am
Every Picture Tells a Story...but is it a true story?

That's what I woke up talking to myself about. Do you do that? Wake up and have these conversations going on inside your head that spill out into actual words when no one is around?

[Or do I really need a strait jacket? Hmmm, but even that could be fun! ]

Anyhoo, today it was reflecting on how so many of the gentlemen Ive met on here tend to NOT look like the photos posted in their profiles.

Now I know men have complained about that as far as women go:

"That photo must've been from at least 20 years ago!",
"That's been photoshopped"
or "She's gained a few pounds since that photo was taken."€

The hubs warned me about that, which is why we had a photo session one night when I first decided to do this. I wanted my photos and profile to be as accurate as possible. I figured either I was your cup of tea as a short bbw* or not.
[*B.IG B.eautiful and/or B.usty W.oman]

But looking back on the gentlemen I've had opportunity to meet, only a couple looked the same [okay, maybe even better!] than the photos that were shared on here.

That's not to say they were bad looking. Just different, is all.

Its not like biting in to a cookie expecting those wonderful semi-sweet chocolate morsels only to realize that, nope, ya got a mouthful of raisins instead!! No, its not like that...raisins are a disappointment to me. No one I've met from here is like a raisin to me...well, except one; but that is another story for another day!

I have found each man fascinating in his own right. I do enjoy meeting new folks; hearing their stories, experiencing the witty banter and flirting, and if it turns out to be more than that, all the better.

But I digress...

I don't think its their fault really. I think our minds have something to do with it. Our brains tend to fill in the blanks and come to conclusions that aren't quite accurate. I mean there's only so much one can see from a body part, no? Can you truly recognize a guy in a bar from his dick pic? Or can you judge a gal by her cleavage or her camel toe? If you can, then boy! You are good!!

Back to the brain, photography and perceptions...where was I?
Oh yes! Body parts! Not just dick pics, but a photo with only lips, or just one eye, or a tatted arm...our mind's eye naturally builds a story or fantasy around that photograph that makes sense to us, whether accurate or not.

I remember T.O.G., aka "Torso of the Gods" of the first men I met on here; well, online anyway; I never met him in person.
His profile was a black and white pic of a well sculpted torso and a hint of a bearded jawline [kind of my kryptonite, btw]

The kind of photo that would be in a Calvin Klein ad.

The kind of jawline you could see nuzzling into the crook of his neck to kiss.

The kind of beard with a hint of salt and pepper, that would invite you to reach out and touch.

As our relationship went further, he sent me a face pic.

He didn't match what my mind's eye and Calvin's ad execs would've done, but he was handsome, nonetheless.

It was just different, is all.

Pics can be accidentally deceptive. With other pics I remember thinking: Ohhh, he's got dark hair under that cap and a twinkling smile!€
Actual meet: the smile was there, but no hair under that cap! Again, a very handsome and kissable pate; just different is all.

Another time it was: Hmmm, looks like he would have a husky build, big bushy white hair from an old out of focus photograph€
Actual meet: tall, athletic/thin, with close cropped light brown hair.

One gentleman, whom I loved meeting and getting to know, had never sent me a face pic. I only had his torso to go on. He had been extremely verbal in the texts he sent. We had paragraphs of conversations. Between the banter and his torso pics, I was anticipating our meet. When we did finally meet, and because I'd never seen his face, I spent most of that initial meet erasing in my mind who I thought I was going to meet, and replacing him with whom I actually met.

It was just different, that's all.

I truly enjoyed him, by the way. We met a couple of other times when he was in my area.

See what your mind concludes looking at these pics, sent to me by my Poetry Man. He believes that men are prewired to see curves, erotically so, even if they're not there.

What do you think? First thought is curves, right? Well, LACE and curves!

This IS a body part. Just not the one you think it is

Done any good reading lately?

You light up my life!

See how your eyes need a moment of readjustment to look and see what is really there?
That is how my first meets go a lot of the time. I have come to the realization that is more like ABDF [Adult Blind Date Finder]. Actually I think all online dating sites are like that.


I have learned that it helps to just let go of expectations and simply go with the flow and allow myself to really get to know and enjoy the people I meet.

I asked Poetry Man if I looked like my pics when he met me. His response was: I liked your energy.€

Well crap! What is that supposed to mean??
Part 2 My So-Called Exciting Life!
Posted:Dec 23, 2021 9:54 am
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2022 8:47 am
Once again, The first comment is much easier to read - go there.
Part 2 Seriously, my life as a Sitcom!

It took us almost 12 hours to get to Reno. We had to stop outside a Taco Time to talk through some stuff for a couple of hours before we went through with it.

We rolled into Reno at 11:45 pm after our “bachelor/bachelorette party” at a hole in the wall diner, and eight bottles of champagne. We found The Little Chapel of Neon Hearts and went in.

My bestie was our witness and Best man/Maid of Honor. My bouquet was some dusty faded hard plastic flowers. The officiant looked like Mama Cass with a lilting sing-song-y voice as she read the vows. She sounded like a short order cook when we got to the part about the rings.

We whispered to her: “We don’t have any rings”. She broke from her Snow White lilt and yelled, “THEY DON’T GOT NO RINGS!!”

She re-composed herself and got back to the vows: ”…to love honor and obey till death do you part?” I saw the color start to drain from my hubs’ face.

When it was over we got a cassette recording of our vows that we still have to this day, somewhere. I went out with my friend to look around for a motel. My hubs was somewhere between two cars throwing up. He told me later, it was because all the countless thousands [of women] that he would now never meet, flashed before his eyes.

We found a Motel 6 to stay at. He wanted us all in the same room [“To save ” he said] We protested with the bestie saying “No fucking way! I’ll sleep in the car! “

She got her own room.

I proceeded to take the longest shower on record. 2.5 hours.

I was kinds hoping he’d pass out on the bed. It didn’t happen. Sex for that night was the dead fish kind. Truthfully, I think I was in shock.

Early the next morning, I had to go to a phone booth [remember them?] and in for a substitute for my classes. I had to called my co-teacher too. It was the end of the third quarter grading period, so I had to read off my portion of the grades to her so we could get them in on time.

When I told her where I was and what I had done, she didn’t believe me. “C’mon, you are in Gresham, don’t lie to me!”

“No, truly, I am standing outside a Motel 6 in Reno freezing my ass off in a phone booth!”

I read her my grades for each class while she laughed. I found out later from some of the that she actually fell out of her chair laughing when she told the students where I was.

The drive home was quiet. Except in the mountains where we got pelted with raindrops so fat they almost flooded the inside of the car. We had to stop to put the sunroof back on. Then almost slid off the road in the downpour.

The next day after I went to school and everyone found out about my escapade, reality really started to set in and I got scared. I remember coming home to my sister’s house, being curled up in the fetal position on the granite countertop with my friend feeding me shots of Wild Turkey, while I rocked back and forth mumbling, “What have I done? What have I done?!!!”

We’ve lasted tho’. Through thick and thin, hard times and fun times, we've managed to stay intact.

The second most terrifying thing I’ve done is being a Mom. Now, I know those are not “exciting and/or action packed” experiences; I mean, not like waterskiing nude, or participating in a kink convention or being on Hugh Hefner’s yacht.

But they are fucking life changing! They’ve shaped who I am and what I do today.

And this, the Second Act, promises to bring more adventures and stories to tell!
Stay Tuned!!

My So Called Exciting Life
Posted:Dec 22, 2021 11:56 am
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2022 8:39 am

So tell me something totally exciting that you've done!€ he said as we cuddled.

I truly hate it when I get asked that or the "So tell me about yourself"question.

My mind went totally blank, and my doe eyes had headlights in them.

In sales, I was taught to have a 'stump speech'€ at the ready; a thirty second blurb designed to pique the other's interest to want to know more about your product or service. [Trust me, its much easier to promote something made or offered by someone else than to sell your own wares].

I had nothing prepared for that moment. I thought to myself, 'He must be getting bored with me!'€.

He looked at me expectantly...


I had nothing that would even come close to the adventures he has lived.

We've covered some amazing topics about him: Kinkfest, BitCoin, travels [his, not mine], Martial Arts, weird music tastes [Industrial], Shibari, his brushes with fame: Anton LaVey, Mary of Peter, Paul and Mary, even told me the story of the kinkiest gal he’s ever been with [Geezus, as if THAT wasn’t intimidating!]

So I have been racking my very vanilla brain trying to come up with an intriguing answer to his question. It made me realize I have lived a safe, stable and sheltered existence. I lived in the very same house my whole life till I moved out on my own. I have only traveled to a few spots within the U.S. and day trips to Canada. I don't even have a passport. [There's a discrepancy by one vowel between my birth certificate and my SS card that I need to get fixed first]. And of course, if youve read along in this blog at all, you'll know that till now I've been with the same man for 35 years.

I would have to say that the most exciting and out of character off the wall thing that I’ve ever done is eloped to Reno. I mean, it was a TRUE elopement. We woke up one Sunday and said, “Wouldnt it be nice to wake up like this every day?” Of course, we had just had sex when he said that and thought it was a good idea. Cautious me had my doubts about it.

Impetuous he said, “look if we don’t do it then we’ll look at it as a fun adventure. We’ll gamble a little, and then come home.”

I said, “Can I bring my bestie with me?”

“Sure, but let’s not tell her what we’re really doing. We’ll act like we’re driving to Kah-nee-ta Warm Springs Resort and then just keep driving.”

We picked up my friend – she and I were housesitting for my sister, who had just moved to Texas at the time and wanted eyes on her place. We were dressed for the sun: capri pants, a long t-shirt cover-up and sandals. I tell you this because that became my wedding ensemble!

We were at Mt. Hood when we stopped at the small general store and ATM. There weren’t a lot of them around in those days. The hubs got some cash and some champagne for the road. When the bestie saw that, she exclaimed,” You two are getting MARRIED!!! I think its a wonderful idea!!!”

With that we were on our way to begin our life together.

Well, kinda.

We all talked and drank and drove. I know, not the smartest way to go, but we were at that young and invincible stage of life. We stopped in Redmond to gas up and went to the grocery store for snacks and more champagne.

I remember walking down a grocery aisle with my friend with her saying, 'So, when did you say ˜yes€™?

I retorted, “I havent yet. That™s why I brought you along…to talk him out of it.”
This New Thing
Posted:Dec 6, 2021 9:21 am
Last Updated:Dec 16, 2021 5:39 pm

I have been looking at the new beta Community for blogs this morning to see what everyone is talking about.

I am not sure how they can see addresses and such, as some have mentioned.
The layout seems a bit cartoon-y in my opinion.

They still have the programming glitches in punctuation and symbols, etc.

Definitely photo-rich as far as content goes. [C'est le vie! As the world goes, so do we?] I prefer words to pictures, myself.

As another blogger pointed out, we of the Boomer Generation have a much harder time accepting change than others.

And now it is about LEVELS instead of points?? I feel like I am in a Martial Arts training.

"Ah, lil Grasshopper, if you can steal the yoni egg from my hand you will have arrived!"
"Too slow!!! "€œ

My only concerns are the cries of a lack of privacy. How is that an issue, exactly? Can others see the private comments that get sent in the private mailboxes now? Some have said that addresses get shown?? Seriously?

And for those of you considering leaving, where would you end up? I am only on this site, I do not know what other sites to consider if I left and I always like to have options

Please let me know your thoughts below.
Educate me on the privacy issues, etc.

Jack and I Broke Up - PART TWO
Posted:Nov 24, 2021 8:07 am
Last Updated:Jan 11, 2022 5:48 am

The differences between us continued as we talked: She homeschooled her five . I had one . Just one, with whom I entertained the idea of homeschooling for about a hot minute; that is until I had to get him to do his homework packets in kindergarten. [which, btw, I thought was the most ridiculous idea for educating on the planet! Homework??? For kindergarteners???] What was supposed to take "only 20 minutes of schoolwork at home" took two hours  of daily screaming fits and tantrums..[and don't get me started on how my reacted!! lol]

I also learned that she loves quilting, whereas I hate sewing. She loves Trump and I lean to the left of the middle politically speaking and cannot stand him. [and that is the extent of pontificating my politics on this blog]. 

I mainly listened as she and the hubs talked. She has a quiet voice that made me have to lean in to hear her. I was reading lips most of the time. I was seated in the middle of them both, which probably made it hard for the hubs to hear her as well. At one point I excused myself to the bathroom. When I came out, I stood hidden, watching them talk and laugh like the old friends they were. I figured I would let them have their time to talk and catch up as I had time with Jack and met others instead. One young gal I started talking to was completely open about her polyamorous bicurious leanings and shared how she came into the lifestyle and to our table** [**which, she told me was known as "the Swingers table"]. She and I are now friends on FB, somehow...

I also shamelessly flirted with the karaoke DJ; a younger man that looked like a Hollywood centerfold. Yes, Jack has always helped me come out of my shell!  

I came back to the table with The Playmate telling a story about one of The Hostess' parties. She threw her head back, laughed, patted my hubs' arm and said, "You know me, I'm the Energizer Bunny!" 

Now, that's an innocuous comment, really. But for some reason [JACK] it hit me the wrong way. [JACK] When I look back on it, I think it was intermixed in my mind with previous comments and conversations that the hubs and I have had that made my temperature rise...Oh and [JACK!]

Comments and conversations like when I first found out about the GF and as we were driving to dinner one night. I asked him what attracted him to her.
 "Welllll," he said slowly, "She fucks like a racehorse! She can go all night!" 
That statement  has been stuck in my craw ever since he first uttered it over a year ago. 

And as we were headed down to this event he told me he's going to the eastern side of the state to visit his lady friend there; AND he's been talking to another friend that wants him to come visit in the MIdwest!

When I pointed out the fact that he's gone on several outings this year with other people, while I've been "keeping the home fires burning", he would bring up all the "lunch dates" that I've had. To me, that's apples to oranges: out of town trips, overnight stays, mini vacays are completely different than a lunch or hot tub outing. On the one hand, he's making memories with someone else. Me? I'm just getting fucked! 

We were the first to leave the bar. He was still not feeling well, and I was feeling no pain. I held up the wall of the bar as we walked to the car. I don't remember much else really. He must've said something to ignite the fuse. [JACK] I went off like a firecracker...a bad firecracker. I exploded in the car the second the doors were shut! All I remember was the raw emotion. And that I pounded on the door window for emphasis with each Fuck You I uttered. [JACK] I think I remember saying something about being in limbo all the time; that I was sick, so sick and tired of not knowing what the fuck was going on inside his head.

I screamed and yelled all the way back to the motel. 

He said nothing. Just watched me go off. He readied himself for bed calmly saying that we would talk about this in the morning. 

I was insistent we talk about it right there and then. Finally he yelled back. [Is that what I really wanted??! Any kind of fucking reaction??] He said " ENOUGH! We'll talk about it tomorrow because I'm sick and you're drunk and you have been yelling at me the whole time in the car!!!" 

All I could do was say, "No I havent!" [JACK!!]  At that point the lights went out in the room and I sat there in the dark, wide awake [JACK], Not feeling done yet, so,...I went to the bar at the motel. Not a lot of people there. I sat in a quiet corner with Jack one last time, while the music played and wrote in my journal. 

The next morning I woke up after only about four hours of sleep. My false eyelashes were crinkled up, moving perpendicular to my eyes. My head felt like it was detached from my body. I didn't know what to say to the man beside me. I asked him how he was feeling. He turned the question back on to me. He started packing to leave. I thought we were going to meet The Playmate. "I don't want  to ", he said. "We saw her last night, so we don't need to see her this morning." We got ready to go in silence. 

There I was back in limbo, with my mind starting to spin its tales again. This time, after I put such a lovely ending on a lovely trip, my thoughts were a bit more anxious than usual. I wondered if we would talk about what happened on the way home. But, no. Not even a little bit. The conversation was sparse and casual, with him napping as I drove part of the way home.

I get it. He doesn't like conversations that lead to possible conflicts. Never has.
The next few days I looked at what happened. It wasn't just Jack who caused the outburst. He certainly didn't help, however! And it wasn't jealousy at my-very-exact-opposite, The Playmate. It was anger; and grief. I was/am still grieving the loss of what our relationship is "supposed" to be; not what it is. I told my two besties about it over the next week. One says I should write a sit-com about my life. The other said, "Of course you're still angry. He hurt you. And he's never once apologized for it." 
It's true.
I found myself looking at couples' profiles on this site: every last one of them begins with "happliy married and secure"...
Ours would read: "satisfactorily married and somewhat secure...for now"
I wonder how many are really, really happy...and secure?
And how did they get to that point?
Were there bumps and potholes along the way?
How did they avoid them???
I wondered who started them on this journey?
Themselves or their spouse? Was it mutual??

It's okay, the veneer is back up now; just has a few cracks in it. 
We interrupt our normal programming for this special announcement!
Posted:Nov 24, 2021 7:43 am
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2021 10:04 am

Wow! I just had my first experience of blocking someone on here today!  I am usually able to shrug off comments, harsh innuendos etc. I just ignore them. But this guy really pissed me off!! 

Guys I don't get it.
What makes you think that insulting a woman calling her a 'pussy' and a 'fake' out of nowhere is going to make her open up to you?? Geezus didn't your mama ever teach you anything?? That you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?? Or is that just your 'Dom side' coming out? [Well put it back, it's totally unappealing!]

After messaging me that insulting sh*t,  I found him on IM this morning, saying "hi sexy".


Here's my pubic service message:
Be kind with your words; you'll get kind in return.
Learn to message in complete sentences. Gals appreciate it.
Don't lead with your horniness; try a different tact.

Jack and I Broke Up - PART ONE
Posted:Nov 23, 2021 9:44 am
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2022 5:52 am

Daniels, that is

He is just no good for . Brings out the worst in . So after this weekend I decided to it quits. It's hard to leave this Golden hued one, with his smooth lines and sometimes bubbly personality especially when paired with a spritz of soda and lime on the rocks. However, there is something about him that just gets under my skin. He peels back that thin veneer I have, making Angry Busti come out.

It is not a pretty sight.

We were headed out of town to hear a band that The Hostess with the Mostest had suggested.[See Episode IX: The Hostess with the Mostest ; posted April 20th]  The hubs thought it was an easy way to get back in touch with the group and to meet some new friends. There were no hookups intended unless one wanted to as an individual, since many were staying in the same hotel* [*Or so we thought. Turns out there were two hotels in the vicinity and most of the group that came from out of town stayed at the other one]

The hubs thought this was a good way for me to meet and chat with one of the playmates he has enjoyed at these house parties. I was open to the idea of getting to know her. I had questions, lots of them. We did not know if she would be at the concert that night  but we made plans to meet the next day for lunch. 

An hour or so into our travel we got an email from The Hostess saying the concert  had been canceled. I checked the venue online and sure enough, one of the band members had tested positive for covid so as a precautionary move the band canceled. The Hostess scrambled and alerted her group that she was moving the party to a karaoke bar that was near her home instead.

We got to the hotel and decided to nap a bit before party time. As we got ready, we had a cocktail to relax a bit. Jack Daniels and I warmed up to each other while the hubs napped.

As we were driving to the bar, the hubs texted The Playmate and told her what was up. She texted back that she would meet us there too. We arrived and found The Hostess at a table with chairs all around. She bought some appetizers for the table of guests and as we munched we got caught up on all the happenings since we last saw her. The appetizer did not sit well with the hubs. He wasnt feeling well, almost immediately. He went outside to get some fresh air. I thought he was going to puke. But Jack D and I were having fun, so I kind of ignored it. He then headed for the head and while he was in there, a tall woman came up to the table and asked me if I was me.  I said Hi, and stood up to meet The Playmate. 

My first impression was WTF???

She was the exact opposite of me. I mean...I am short. She is tall. I am busty, curvy, round and quite well padded. She is tall, svelte, slender, flat chested, normal sized. I am a bit glam, even wore false eyelashes that night.  She is completely natural, no makeup.  I wore [ I]Ralph Lauren Blue perfume. She smelled of patchouli. I mean, the only thing we had in common, [kinda] was that her hair was long too. Longer than mine in fact. The difference was her hair is the rasta kind of hair [Think Jamaican singer Bob Marley]. I had never seen rasta hair that long on a white woman!

It was really quite fascinating.

to be continued...
In the meantime, to my friends in the states, hope you have a glorious Thanksgiving!!
Did They Really Mean to Say That?
Posted:Nov 1, 2021 9:42 am
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2021 9:35 am
I love vintage advertising. Maybe it’s the artwork. Maybe it’s the font. Sometimes it’s the copy itself that intrigues. While driving to our Halloween party last night, the hubs told me about an old ad a friend had recently posted on FB. It was from a Yellow Page ad back in the day…titled, “Uptight?” “Have a screw problem?” And that’s way before E.D. was on TV!

I can only imagine the chuckles it got back then.

I recently the thought of a popular company and their tagline popped into my mind:
LAY’S Potato Chips…”Betcha can’t eat just one!”
Remember this guy in all the ads?
bag? or pants?

I wonder how many boys smirked at that one??
Or did they see the double entendre like I did?

Again, the ad company that came up with that one must’ve laughed their asses off at their three martini lunches!! Oh the revenue that campaign must have brought in!

One of my all-time favorite ads was from Jovan Musk Oil Perfume. First, I must say, I loved it back in the day. The scent itself was a huge turn-on for teenagers in lust.
I wrote an essay dissecting the double meaning in a college paper. Got an A on it.
What do you see first in this ad??

The photo was suggestive enough: a man’s hand w/a wedding band on it caressing a woman’s leg under the table at a romantic restaurant.

The tagline read “Jovan Musk…dedicated to the proposition.”

That ad always intrigued me.

Hmmm….maybe I was having a premonition??

What about you? Can you think of some double entendre ads?

And on the way to our friend’s party house, I had to stop and take this pic.

Happy Monday!!
Hair Raising Photo Shoot - Part 2
Posted:Oct 29, 2021 4:45 pm
Last Updated:Dec 19, 2021 8:54 am
I had reschedule the shoot into October due to illness…yep, THAT illness ! I caught a mild case of Covid right around the time of the shoot. Another story another day, I’m afraid.

In the meantime, Gilf did her photo shoot with fantastic results! It was not exactly what she had envisioned, but it was still some outstanding pics that she grew to love. Then the photographer sent me some information and a timeline of what to do up until the photo shoot:

3-4 weeks before: teeth whitening
1 -2 weeks before: get your hair trimmed – not right before, especially your bangs
1 week: get your brows and facial hair removed
Wardrobe pressed, dry cleaned, etc.
2 days before: manicure and pedicure – natural colors of polish
2 days before: Refrain from alcohol and late nights; drink lots of water, get lots of sleep* [*Uhhhhhh…. not my strong suit]
1 day before: hair freshly washed and blowout if need be
Wardrobe and accessory checklist completed and laid out
Day of shoot: Shave, brush hair, Clean face, no makeup when you arrive

Holy Moley! I just want a f***ing pic taken!

So this last Monday was the day. I woke up early. Planned and organized a list of what I needed to bring…half my wardrobe and four pairs of shoes! My hubs came home from dispatch [he goes in to work by 5:30 am every day and is usually home by 7:30 am if he’s not dispatched out] “C’mon, we have to take my car into the shop this morning,” he said.

“Did you tell me about this??” I asked irritably.

“I just remembered it this morning”.

So 30 minutes of driving to and from the car shop threw me off my game. I continued getting ready but, for some reason thought I had more time than I did. I had a breakfast. Then I took my “morning with the pussy” time.

Ha! NOT what you think!!

My cat and I have a morning ritual where he lays across my chest five ten minutes while I have my coffee and pet him. It’s a thing. Every morning.
I was just starting load my car with garment bags when I said, “Does that say :30??”

“Yup” said the hubs.


“What time you need be there?”

“NOW!!!” I said as I literally threw the bags and suitcase in the car.

I made it in record time; still 25 minutes behind schedule while I worked on my breathing. Namaste.

I know that messes with everyone’s time frame. I felt so unprofessional! I mean, even when I’m organized, I’m disorganized!! I started relax in the makeup chair. I had requested glam makeup: you know, dramatic eyes, red lips, etc.

That is not how the make-up artist rolls, however. She did a wonderful job of bringing out my eyes in a subtle fashion, my lips a natural color, and lightly hightlighting cheekbones, etc. I expected more dramatic makeup. I’d had a “Glamour Shots” kind of photo back in the 80s. They did dramatic makeup as it was a black and white photo shoot. This was different.

We had tentatively planned out the order of the shoot beforehand…only I completely forgot one of the wardrobe items. We went with Wardrobe 2: The Harley Jacket. Part of my “rule breaker” persona. I wore thigh black stockings and a black camisole that is so long on my short body that it could double as a sexy mini black dress! The Harley jacket was bulky and hard to pose in, but it got me warmed up for posing. Which is a good thing, cuz it was cold in that cavernous space.

I learned a lot about posing: which is your side [my right side]; how an arched back with butt out lengthens you: pressing your whole face forward like you are pressing your nose against a window creates a more defined neck and chin; and how subtle movement changes can enhance or ruin a shot if you get out of range of the lighting.

I learned new words and phrases that day too. “Doe Eyes”; “Catch Light”. Oh! And enunciating the words “Prune” and “Poop” relaxes your mouth into a natural sexy pout. Who knew those were sexy words??

Catch light is when your eyes really capture the light source. It makes all the difference in a portrait photo. It is what makes your eyes sparkle.

Most of my looks were black. But we changed it up with the next wardrobe look: a long peach satin negligee with lace bodice and a denim jacket over it. We weren’t really going for a boudoir look, just a color look.

We did one other lingerie look, a black negligee with a pleated bodice. The hubs really liked that one the other night.

Finally, I wore an elegant black cocktail dress with a soft draped bodice and a paneled skirt that was simply made for twirling or for a wind tunnel. Which they turned on blast at first. Brrr!!! I was already freezing!

But it was fun! She said I had more expressions than she usually works with. And that I naturally knew how pose…[?] Must’ve been that early training with my Dad [see Oct. 23rd post]. She said I knew how hold my hands. That’s apparently a hard thing master in pics. She took over pics. We narrowed it down about 1. This is the first one she posted. Hot off the press, unretouched. I’m looking forward to another shoot with her in the next two weeks as we had some other ideas we didn’t get to.

All in all, the experience was transformative for me. I really have been camera shy for the most part of my life. This experience brought me to a place of self-acceptance; of actually loving who I am and the skin I’m in. She captured an elegance I never saw in myself before.

It was worth it, just to discover that.

Hair Raising Photo Shoot - Part One
Posted:Oct 28, 2021 12:03 pm
Last Updated:Dec 21, 2021 10:52 am
I don’t usually like getting my photo taken; although, if you’ve seen my profile pics, you’d think otherwise. I took a lot of selfies last year only because friends here asked for them. I usually end up crossing my eyes and being goofy when I have to pose for other people’s photos.

So when my friend Gilf suggested we participate in a local photography studio’s project, I balked at the idea. Not only is it designed as a photo shoot to us the photos; she’s planning to have it as a gallery showing and wants to print our “stories” in a self-published magazine. Not a bad marketing ploy, I gotta say.

“Do it for yourself. Puhleeze!”, Gilf said. “We all have this image of ourselves in our head; it would be good to see yourself as others see you! It would be so good for your self-confidence!” I have already gained some confidence just by being on this site, actually. [Thank you very much for all the kind words and comments here, by the way. ]

“Ummm…I am not so sure I want to tell ‘my story””, I said.

“Tell as much or as as you ! The focus is on being true to yourself. How you’ve been overcoming shit in your life.”

I agreed to fill out the form and sent it in. I heard back from the photographer almost immediately. Made the appointment to meet her.

Her studio is huge, at least to me it is. She has several backdrops and vignettes around it, a rack of clothing, a makeup chair and a huge monitor to view film. We sat at her conference table and she asked me what I thought I would to portray in the shoot.

“Umm, no clue, actually. I know Gilf has some preset ideas.” She sees herself as “breaking out” and finding herself again after her marriage and wanted to reflect that in her pics.

If I saw myself as anything, I saw myself as a "rule breaker". I told the photographer that, but in much tamer examples than you would thin

Like my hair for instance. Usually women of a certain age do not have their white hair down to their waists. It’s just “not done”. I have a friend, a former hair stylist who would tell me when he thought I really needed to get my hair cut. It is “out of proportion”, he’d say. I’d smile sweetly and simply say, “Fuck off!”.

My hair never grew this long when I . My sister’s did. She like a curvy, busty version of Cher when we were teenagers. She worked as a lifeguard in the summers, so with her tan, her big brown eyes and that hair, she stunning. So stunning, in fact, that my driver’s education teacher would make me drive to the pool she worked at. He would lean over and honk the horn trying to get her attention. [Imagine a faculty member trying to do that nowadays!!]

Creepy, I know.

I always so jealous of her straight thick dark hair. To make matters worse, she had the bright idea of cutting my wavy shoulder length hair into a perky pixie. The stylist went nuts with the idea, and before I knew it, I ended up with hair so short, I couldn’t even part it. I cried for weeks. This the 70s folks, when Farrah Fawcett hairstyles ran rampant in my high school.

So, when I started to leave my hair alone: putting it in a bun after shampooing, letting it dry naturally, it became softer and silkier. So what if I in my late 50s? I went with it!

The photographer gained my trust and totally excited to photograph my hair. We met in July, scheduling the photo shoot for September. She wanted me to send her inspiration photos – things I might want to see happen in the shoot; how I wanted my makeup; wardrobe ideas.

I nervous now. All this for a photo shoot? What had I gotten myself into??


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