Welcome to Sexy TIMES!

This blog will report various, often random and sometimes dubious thoughts, quirks, observations, trivia, tales, questions, dreams, rants, opinions, truths, musings, stories, lies, hopes, moans, fantasies, etc in the hope of tempting you to get involved.

Our mission is to put the facts in the public domain!

Please feel free to write a letter to the editor at LETTERS TO THE EDITOR.

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Sexy TIMES editor: spunkycumfun, Esq.
Sexy TIMES proprietor: Rupert Murdoch
Sexy TIMES executive designer: [blog cherimore]

The editor and, of course, the proprietor take no responsibility for accuracy of the content, nor any responsibility for the propriety of how the content was gathered. Otherwise, Sexy TIMES subscribes to the highest ethical standards of journalism.
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Posted:Jun 29, 2017 11:36 am
Last Updated:Jul 25, 2017 12:53 pm

Above are people wearing 'watermelon dresses'. It’s the latest Instagram craze where a slice of watermelon is held in front of a camera to give the impression that someone is wearing a watermelon dress. I don’t understand why this craze is catching on, but catching on it is.

I guess wearing a watermelon dress makes more sense than entering a melon thigh-crushing contest!

The watermelon, which originated in Africa, has been cultivated for over 4,000 years. I love watermelon especially on a hot summer day.

I like all melons, especially naked ones! But my favourite melon to eat is the honeydew melon served with a little sugar and ginger.

Would you wear a ‘watermelon dress’?
What’s your favourite melon?

There are lots of different kinds of melons, a few with quite interesting names - Argos melons, canary melons, casaba melons, collective farm woman melons, egusi melons, European cantaloupe melons, Galia melons, Hami melons, honeydew melons, horned melons, Japanese melons, Korean melons, muskmelons, North American cantaloupe melons, Persian melons, Santa Claus melons, Sharlyn melons, sugar melons, tiger melons, watermelons and winter melons.

Posted:Jun 21, 2017 12:41 pm
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2017 12:44 pm

As you probably know - and if you didn’t know, shame on you! - Adam West, the actor who played Batman in the television series in the 1960s, died recently. Batman was my favourite superhero.

Strictly speaking, Batman wasn’t a superhero as he had no superpowers, but Batman had a very useful utility belt, a Batcave, a Batphone, a Bat Shield, a Batmobile and Robin as a sidekick to help him rid crime from the streets of Gotham City. Without Batman, the Joker, Riddler, Penguin, Catwoman and Poison Ivy would have ruled the world!

I loved Batman then and I love Batman now; I love the darkness and campness of Batman.

As a I had a Batmobile car, by far the coolest toy car in my collection. I was most scared of the Riddler, but I now think Catwoman was probably his biggest threat to Batman!

Do or did you like Batman?
What Batman villain was the biggest threat to Batman?
If not Batman, who is or was your favourite superhero?

It took ages for Adam West to be given a star on the Hollywood’s Walk of Fame. Though he didn’t feature in too many critically acclaimed films, he was Batman!

When playing Batman, Adam West also enjoyed the attention of many groupies. He claimed that Batman and Robin, played by Burt Ward, were "sexual vampires" while on set and he admitted that "Because of the limitations of the costume, you gotta have quickies."

Adam West also said: "Burt and I were like in a candy store. It was the Swinging Sixties with free love and women threw themselves at us. I remember one night with eight different women … it was eight at one time."

When havind sex, Batman and Robin like to switch!

I want to be Batman, which may not be so such a far-fetched dream as the real Gotham is a suburb of Nottingham where I live. I’ve been cleaning the streets of Nottingham’s Gotham for ten years now but I’ve never had a sniff of an orgy! No one seems to care!

Perhaps I should now stop wearing a cape with satin pants over my lycra outfit!

Posted:Jun 16, 2017 12:09 pm
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2017 12:43 pm

"I am the world’s first professional bed warmer," Viktoria Ivachyova recently announced to Russian reporters, "and I’m filling a gap in the market, because nobody likes getting into cold sheets at night."

The twenty-one year old Moscow woman offers to lie in your bed for 4,900 rubles (about £65 or $82) for an hour before your bedtime. Or you can pay her 102,700 rubles (about £1,350 or $1,700) to come in to your home every night for a month.

"I lie in the bed in my pyjamas, and allow the to enter the room while I’m lying there," Viktoria Ivachyova added, "I’m a great listener, and enjoy listening to men talk about their problems."

"There’s just one rule - no physical contact! I always carry a panic alarm, just in case a gets the wrong impression."

Business is so good that Viktoria Ivachyova is now looking to hire more women as professional bed warmers.

How do you warm up your bed?
Would you ever consider using the services of a professional bed warmer?

I’ve used many types of bed warmers, ranging from a hot water bottle to an electric blanket and from pyjamas to extra bedding. At boarding school, because there was no heating, I had to put on extra clothes before going to bed in the winter!

Nowadays my bed warmer is my girlfriend! If I did need a bed warmer, I wouldn’t pay lots of rubles for a professional bed warmer but I would pay a few dollars to buy a Jayne Mansfield hot water bottle to keep warm during those cold nights.

Posted:Jun 14, 2017 11:39 am
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2017 12:43 pm

This story, which is a true story, isn't for the squeamish!

In 1990, 16 gay men in England were given prison sentences of up to four and a half years or fined for engaging in consensual sado-masochistic activities. The convictions were later upheld by the Court of Appeal, the Law Lords and the European Court of Human Rights.

Though sado-masochism is not explicitly outlawed in this country, the men were convicted of assault despite their informed consent.

In a raid in 1987, the police found a videotape of the men engaged in various and severe acts of sado-masochism, including bloody beatings and CBT (and I mean cock and ball torture not cognitive behavioural therapy). The men particularly liked to hammer nails into each other’s balls!

At the time on finding the videotape, the police believed that men were being killed in their BDSM sessions; they thus launched Operation Spanner, an investigation that cost £4 million. I'm also guessing that the police thought a spanner beats a hammer!

In court, the men admitted to their BDSM activities over a ten-year period confident that they would be acquitted because they had all consented and none of them had ever required medical attention. Their defence was rejected in three courts.

Do you think that consensual sado-masochistic sex, even if involving assault, should be legally allowed?
Do you have a toolbox in your home?
What’s your favourite tool in your toolbox?

I think sado-masochism, despite not being my cup of tea, should be allowed if consenting. But I think if it leads to significant injury or even death, then, it shouldn’t be allowed; in such cases, though innocent consent may be given there may be doubt whether understood consent is given.

If sado-masochism is outlawed, where does this leave fights between ice hockey players, blows traded by boxers and hits by rugby players?

I’m a proud owner of a toolbox, though it mainly gathers dust in my wardrobe. However, my favourite tool is the spanner. I always carry an adjustable spanner in my pocket just in case; you never know when you may need a tool to help a poor man who has a plank of wood accidentally stuck up his rectum!

Posted:Jun 11, 2017 11:59 am
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2017 12:42 pm

A recent survey in the UK found that nine out of ten men in a heterosexual relationship leave making the bed to their partner.

I plead guilty as I very rarely make the bed; my girlfriend does. My defence is that I have no problem with an unmade bed. Beds made only get unmade in less than half a day! What’s the point in making a bed?!

My girlfriend also wants our bedding changed regularly, but I love the smell of sex on bedding so I’m quite happy for the bedding not to be changed for at least a fortnight or even a month.

Also when my girlfriend changes the bedding, she doesn’t do hospital corners and she puts useless cushions on the newly made bed. This is just plainly wrong!

Who makes your bed?
How often do you change your bedding?
Do you have cushions on your bed?

'You've made your bed, now lie in it' is a popular saying. My parents often said this phrase to me when I made bad choices and felt I shouldn’t complain about what’s happened afterwards; somehow it was meant as a lesson in life.

However, this phrase doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. As with most adages, idioms and proverbs, another one can be dragged out to counter it. In this case Reinhold Niebuhr saying comes to mind: "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

If someone can change something bad, then that choice should be reversed; if not, then, that bad has to be accepted even if not welcomed.

It’s a bit like Theresa May’s predicament now. The UK Prime Minister called a snap general election because she wanted "strong and stable leadership" and not a "coalition of chaos" in the run-up to the Brexit negotiations that are soon to start. Her "coalition of chaos" dalek-like phrase was a dig at a possible coalition government involving the Labour Party and Scottish National Party.

Now after the election we get a "coalition of chaos" with the Conservatives jumping into bed with Northern Ireland’s Democratic Unionist Party; the DUP isn’t known for its liberal views! This will be a far more unstable coalition than that between the Labour and SNP.

Now my parents, both very staunch Tory voters, would have said that Theresa May has made her bed in calling the election and now she has to lie in it. I would say that this outcome was caused by unpopular austerity and Brexit policies. The way forward is for the Tories to reverse their decisions to cut welfare that hurt almost everyone and to proceed with Brexit that’ll hurt everyone.

But the Tories don’t have the guts to reverse their choices because they just want to cling onto power; this is why the UK's Conservative Party are arguably the most successful political party in the democratic world.

Posted:Jun 7, 2017 12:06 pm
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2017 12:42 pm

Following its top-selling publication of the Marvellous Map of Great British Place Names, the UK map-makers Strumpshaw, Tincleton & Gigglesworth has just published the Magnificently Rude Map of the World and Astonishingly Real Place Names.

Given that the map above is probably barely readable, here’s a brief whirlwind guide to the rude place names that can be found in the world.

Starting here in the UK, you can visit Butthole Lane, Golden Balls, Lickham Bottom, Muff, Shitterton, Slap Bottom, Tickle Cock Bridge and Twatt.

Incredibly there are no rude places to frequent in Ireland!

Moving across the Channel into Europe, there's Anus, Arse, Brest, Pissy and Pussy to see in France. Elsewhere in Europe, Arsoll, Clit, Bastardo, Bendova, Buggerru, Grand Sex, Horny, Middelfart, Minge, Pis, Poo, Rectum, Titz, Urin and Wank are surely worth a visit.

Travelling eastwards into Asia, there’s Urin and Vagina in Russia, Bum and Cunt in Turkey, Ars and Shit in Iran, Cumbum and Poo in India, Fuku and Sexi in China, Kinki Expressway and Shite in Japan, Bangkok and Phuket in Thailand, Bum Bum Island and Semen in Indonesia, and Bollock and Sexmoan in The Philippines to visit.

In Australia, there’s Break Wind Reserve, Curly Dick Road, Hungry Knob, Mount Buggery and Prominent Nob. There are a lot of nobs in Australia! Not to be outdone, New Zealand has Bonar Knob, Bowels of the Earth and Nervous Knob. It seems there are lots of nobs in New Zealand too!

Moving to Africa, Dik, Dildo, Fuka, Kunting, Pee, Shit, Tit and Wankie are all on the tourist trail.

Across the Atlantic Ocean and In South America, there’s Sexy, Shagnasty Island and Varginha for sightseers. In Central America, there’s Little Dix, Pis Pis River and Poop for travellers.

In America, they have Ballplay, Beaverlick, Climax, Dickshooter, Felch, Horneytown, Intercourse, Mianus, New Erection and Spunky Puddle.

And in Canada, the world’s most perverted country, there’s Backside of Hell Cove, Bare Bum Pond, Bastard, Big Beaver, Climax, Lake Minnewanka, Prince Albert, Sexsmith, Shitagoo Lake and Witches’ Tits to sample.

What rude place would you most like to visit?

I’m tempted to do a worldwide tour and put Tickle Cock Bridge, Bendova, Bum Bum Island, Hungry Knob, Fuka, Shagnasty Island, Spunky Puddle and Bare Bum Pond on my travel itinerary.

I shouldn’t mock these place names as the place where I live, Nottingham, is named after a Saxon Chief called Snot. Nottingham was once known as Snotengaham, meaning the 'homestead of Snot'. It was only when the Vikings in 867 and later the Normans in 1086 took control of the city that the 'S' was dropped from Snottingham to become Nottingham!

What’s the history behind the name of the place you live?

Below is a photo of the Saxon Chief Snot when he was a baby!

Posted:Jun 4, 2017 10:44 am
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2017 12:40 pm
This post is my contribution to the thirty-first virtual symposium moderated by the cult leaderess, pocogato12. Please visit the Virtual Symposium Group’s #31 Symposium JUNE TOPIC LINK for USER NAMES post to read other contributions to the 'Username' virtual symposium.

My thinking behind my username on this site is probably quite self-explanatory!

However, it wasn’t always so straightforward when my profile was created a few years back. After deciding to join the site as a couple and after deciding to conceal our identity on the site, my then partner created a profile here.

When she said she had created our profile, I asked her what our username was. She replied that the first three letters of the username was her first name and the last four letters were my surname!

Within seconds of her reply, alarm bells rang. Apart from the unfairness that her identity was far more concealed than my identity as her first name, unlike my surname, is a very common name, I realised we had to quickly change our username.

So without too much thought spunkycumfun came into my head - it sort of rolls off the lips quite well!

When I disappeared from the site, still under investigation, I resurrected myself as notspunkycumfun. Now that doesn’t roll off the lips!

What thinking lay behind your choice of username on this site?
Would you choose the same username now?

I’ve just received an urgent press release from the Royal Family that I’ve been asked to release on this site. It reads:

"With regret buckinghampalace wants to deny the widespread rumours that members of the royalfamily regularly frequent this site. queen ElizabethII, the late QueenMother, the dukeofedinburgh, PrinceCharles, the late princessdiana, the duchess of cornwall, Princess anne, prince Andrew and sarahferguson, princeedward and sophie, prince William, KateMiddleton and Pippamiddleton, princegeorge, Princess charlotte, princeharry and Meghan Markle have never been members of this site. Anyone who suggests otherwise will face vigorous legal action."

That’s us told!

Posted:May 31, 2017 10:31 am
Last Updated:Jun 13, 2017 2:25 am



Midnight feast:

Nowadays my kind of BDSM involves a breakfast, dinner, supper and midnight feast. I tend to say lunch for a midday meal and dinner for an evening meal, but that wouldn’t fit the BDSM acronym!

Breakfast, cooked not continental, is my favourite meal of the day.

What’s your favourite meal of the day?

In the not-so-distant past I partook in a lot of BDSM, mainly because my then girlfriend also liked it too!

Of all the bits of BDSM, I like bondage and domination but I don’t much like sado-masochism. So I’m more of a B&D than an S&M person!

In particular, I love playing Japanese bondage rope, I like spanking and I adore ball weights. I’ve previously posted on the pleasures and pains of ball weights - see WEIGHTY MATTERS.

What bits of BDSM have you tried?
If tried, what bits did you most like and dislike?

My best so-called dirty weekends have been spent in a BDSM guest house tucked away in rural England. The guest house was called Ess and Emm and it was run by Madam Katya, though she wasn’t there when we stayed; we were alone entertaining ourselves!

For those who want to know more about this BDSM guest house and my adventures there, please go to my previous posts - ESS AND EMM, A DIRTY WEEKEND PART ONE, A DIRTY WEEKEND PART TWO and A DIRTY WEEKEND PART THREE.




Posted:May 28, 2017 12:03 pm
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2017 1:06 pm

Teasingly I call my girlfriend’s family, the Dingles. The Dingles are a family in Emmerdale, a television soap opera popular in Britain. The Dingles aren’t the brightest buttons in the drawer, but their entangled lives, dodgy dealings and stupid antics make for a great anchor to my favourite soap programme.

My girlfriend’s family, especially her extended family, are like the Dingles but don’t appear on television to display their talents, though I think Jeremy Kyle would be very interested in having them on his trash television show.

Last weekend I was supposed to accompany my girlfriend to a family wedding. One of my girlfriend’s nieces was marring the ex-husband of another one of my girlfriend’s nieces. The wedding was taking place in Boston in Lincolnshire, the Brexit capital of Britain. This was not a wedding I was looking forward to.

My girlfriend and I decided that staying in the same hotel of the wedding was on balance the best option, as we could get drunk to soften the wedding experience.

On the day before the wedding my girlfriend dealt me a 'get out of a jail card'. She said that if I don’t want to go to the wedding, her would be happy to take my place. Not wanting to deny her any happiness, I gallantly stood down from my duty to accompanying my girlfriend to the wedding.

Do you regularly watch any television soap programmes?
What’s been the worst wedding you’ve been to?
How well do you get on with the family of your partners?

Normally I love weddings and I’ve not been to a bad one, even my own drunken wedding was good. But the worst, but still the most entertaining, wedding I’ve attended was a wedding where a mass brawl broke out between the families of the bride and groom.

My girlfriend’s family have not matched Bill Wyman and Mandy Smith … yet! Bill Wyman, the Rolling Stones’ bass player, started seeing Mandy Smith in 1983 when she was 13 years old; Mandy Smith's mother acampanied them on their honeymoon! Five years later, they got married but their marriage lasted just two years.

However, when Bill Wyman and Mandy Smith were experiencing marital difficulties, Mandy Smith’s mother Patsy married Bill Wyman’s Stephen. Now that’s an entanglement!

By the way, my girlfriend’s family think I’m a stuck-up upper class snob from Downton Abbey! But we get on very well despite and maybe even because of the class divide!

As a priority, I try very, very hard to get on with my partner’s family. Getting on always makes like calmer and simpler!

Posted:May 24, 2017 10:29 am
Last Updated:Oct 8, 2021 4:45 am

22 people were killed and 59 were injured after a bomb attack at the Manchester Arena Monday night. Among the dead was an eight year-old girl and among the injured 20 people are still in critical condition in hospital.

Fans - mainly and teenagers, plus their accompanying parents – of the American singer Ariana Grande were targeted by the suicide bomber, Salman Abedi, a refugee long settled in Manchester but who had just visited Libya and Syria.

ISIS has claimed responsibility for this attack, the worst since the 7/7 bombings in London nearly years ago, but this has not been verified yet. The police suspect that the suicide bomber was part of a network and are making many arrests.

The Government has just increased the terror threat level critical which means that another terrorist attack is expected imminently. Over 1,000 troops, along with armed police officers, are now patrolling the streets in Britain; this figure will rise thousands in the coming days.

The general election campaign has been suspended.

Amidst the terrible news there's some heartening news. The people of Manchester have rallied together to show solidarity with the victims and their families. Taxi drivers gave lifts to fans fleeing from the Arena without fare; hotels offered free accommodation to the fans; many residents opened their homes the fans, many people queued donate blood, people freely gave food and drinks the emergency workers and thousands attended a 'vigil of peace' yesterday evening.

At the vigil, the local poet Tony Walsh, known Longfella in poetic circles, recited one of his poems, This Is the Place. It was an emotional, defiant and rousing recital – it reduced tears. After reciting the poem, Tony Walsh declared to the crowd, "Choose Love Manchester". Below are the words of the poem.

This is the place
In the north-west of England. It’s ace, it’s the best
And the songs that we sing from the stands, from our bands
Set the whole planet shaking.
Our inventions are legends. There’s nowt we can’t make, and so we make brilliant music
We make brilliant bands
We make goals that make souls leap from seats in the stands
And we make things from steel
And we make things from cotton
And we make people laugh, take the mick summat rotten
And we make you at home
And we make you feel welcome and we make summat happen
And we can’t seem to help it
And if you’re looking from history, then yeah we’ve a wealth
But the Manchester way is to make it yourself.
And make us a record, a new number one
And make us a brew while you’re , love, go
And make us feel proud that you’re winning the league
And make us sing louder and make us believe that this is the place that has helped shape the world
And this is the place where a Manchester girl named Emmeline Pankhurst from the streets of Moss Side led a suffragette city with sisterhood pride
And this is the place with appliance of science, we’re it, atomic, we struck with defiance, and in the face of a challenge, we always stand tall, Mancunians, in union, delivered it all
Such housing and libraries and health, education and unions and coops and first railway stations
So we’re sorry, bear with us, we invented commuters. But we hope you forgive us, we invented computers.
And this is the place Henry Rice strolled with rolls, and we’ve rocked and we’ve rolled with our own northern soul
And so this is the place do business then dance, where go-getters and goal-setters know they’ve a chance
And this is the place where we first played . And mum, lived and died , she loved it, she did.
And this is the place where our folks came work, where they struggled in puddles, they hurt in the dirt and they built us a city, they built us these towns and they coughed the cobbles the deafening sound the steaming machines and the screaming of slaves, they were scheming for greatness, they dreamed their graves.
And they left us a spirit. They left us a vibe. That Mancunian way survive and thrive and work and build, connect, and create and Greater Manchester’s greatness is keeping it great.
And so this is the place now with of our own. Some are born , some drawn , but they call it home.
And they’ve covered the cobbles, but they’ll never defeat, all the dreamers and schemers who still teem through these streets.
Because this is a place that has been through some hard times: oppressions, recessions, depressions, and dark times.
But we keep fighting back with Greater Manchester spirit. Northern grit, Northern wit, and Greater Manchester’s lyrics.
And these hard times again, in these streets of our city, but we won’t take defeat and we don’t want your pity.
Because this is a place where we stand strong together, with a smile on our face, greater Manchester forever.
And we’ve got this place where a team with a dream can get funding and something to help with a scheme.
Because this is a place that understands your grand plans. We don’t do "no can do", we just stress "yes we can"
Forever Manchester’s a charity for people round here, you can fundraise, don you can be a volunteer. You can live local, give local, we can honestly say, we do charity different, that Mancunian way.
And we fund local , and we fund local teams. We support local dreamers work for their dreams. We support local groups and the great work they do. So can you help us, help local people like you?
Because this is the place in our hearts, in our homes, because this is the place that’s a part of our bones.
Because Greater Manchester gives us such strength from the fact that this is the place, we should give something back.
Always remember, never forget, forever Manchester.

Posted:May 21, 2017 12:52 pm
Last Updated:Oct 23, 2021 5:25 am

You have a new neighbour. His name is Donald J Trump, the former 45th President of the United States!

Despite several failed assassination attempts, he has just been impeached and has retired from public life in your quiet neighbourhood well away from the embarrassing glare of media publicity.

In case you’ve forgotten, inside are a few images just to remind you what Donald Trump looks like!

Donald Trump knocks on your front door wanting to introduce himself as your new neighbour.

I’d invite him into my home and have a chat with him but all without shaking his hand, without offering him a chair and without giving him a drink. That'll show him what's what!

What would you do on seeing Donald Trump standing on your doorstep?
Shake his hand and welcome him to the neighbourhood on your doorstep
Shut the front door immediately
Ask him in for a neighbourly chat over a drink
Punch him in the face
Warn him of the many gays, drug addicts, poor people, Muslims and Mexicans who frequent the neighbourhood
Congratulate him on his business, media and political achievements
Phone the local newspaper to report some fake news
Grab a gun and shoot him on the spot
Invite him out for a night on the town to go pussy-grabbing
Immediately start plans to build a wall around your home to prevent him returning
89 Comments , 56 votes
Posted:May 17, 2017 9:55 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2017 1:23 am

Not many people wear yellow underwear. It took me a whole week to find photographic evidence of people wearing yellow pants!

Not many people wear brown underwear either. For some reason yellow and brown aren’t popular choices of colour for underwear. I can’t think why!

Have you ever worn yellow underwear?
What colour underwear are you wearing today?
Who buys your underwear?

My pants today are red and, given no accidents, they may be red tomorrow!

I have an assortment of colours in my pants drawer though I don’t own any yellow or brown pants.

Mainly I buy my own underwear though my girlfriend often gives me underwear as birthday and Xmas presents.

PS. Today is the International Day against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia.

Posted:May 14, 2017 11:51 am
Last Updated:Jun 6, 2017 4:25 am

Here are nine accounts of famous people being expelled from school:

1. Salvador Dalí (see above), the Spanish surrealist artist, was expelled from the Special Painting, Sculpture and Engraving School of San Fernando in Madrid for displaying extravagant behaviour, including insulting one of his professors during his final examination.
2. Tony Blair, the former British Prime Minister, was expelled from Fettes, a top public school in Edinburgh, for insolence.
3. Humphrey Bogart, an American actor, was expelled from school for pushing a teacher into a pond.
4. Richard Branson, the British business entrepreneur, was expelled from boarding school for visiting a girl’s dormitory at night; on being caught by the headmaster and asked what he was doing, Richard Branson replied, "I was on my way back from your ’s room, sir."
5. Snoop Dogg, an American artist, was expelled from California’s Cleveland Elementary School because, in his words, "I showed a little girl my little thang!"
6. Rupert Everett, a British actor, attended the Central School of Speech and Drama in London but was expelled for drug-taking, which seems quite a tame reason to be expelled now!
7. Owen Wilson, an American actor, was expelled for stealing a teacher’s textbook that contained all the answers to his homework.
8. Stephen Fry, a British comedian, actor, television presenter, writer and polymath, stole a credit card while attending Uppingham School in Rutland for which he was both expelled for school and imprisoned in jail; he is currently being investigated by the Irish police for blasphemy after denouncing God as "utterly evil, capricious and monstrous" on television.
9. Tori Amos (see below), an American singer-songwriter, was expelled from the prestigious Peabody Conservatory of Music, part of John Hopkins University, because of musical differences; she liked pop and rock music and disliked reading from sheet music.

Were you ever excluded, whether expelled or suspended from school?
If so, what did you do?

I've never been excluded from school though I did come top of the caning league in my class at school. Once I got caned for farting and I don't even fart!

Inside is a bonus account of one hypocrite’s expulsion from school.


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