Welcome to Sexy TIMES!

This blog will report various, often random and sometimes dubious thoughts, quirks, observations, trivia, tales, questions, dreams, rants, opinions, truths, musings, stories, lies, hopes, moans, fantasies, etc in the hope of tempting you to get involved.

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Sexy TIMES editor: spunkycumfun, Esq.
Sexy TIMES proprietor: Rupert Murdoch
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The editor and, of course, the proprietor take no responsibility for accuracy of the content, nor any responsibility for the propriety of how the content was gathered. Otherwise, Sexy TIMES subscribes to the highest ethical standards of journalism.
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Posted:May 7, 2017 12:55 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2017 11:05 am

With a nod to the Daddy Will Save Us art exhibition, a pro-Trump art show for "patriots" due to open tomorrow in Brooklyn, I want to present to you the Mummy Will Save Us exhibition.

This exhibition is quite a big one, but there are many interludes!

Just as the German Chancellor Angela Merkel is nicknamed Mutti, the British Prime Minister Theresa May shall be called Mummy! Or should she be called Mother Theresa?!

It seems only Mummy can save the British from the calamity of Brexit. Despite promising not to call a general election when she first became Prime Minister last year, she has now called a snap general election for the 8th of June.

Mummy claims that only with a fresh mandate from the British voters can she successfully negotiate a good deal for Britain in the already heated negotiations to leave the European Union.

Mummy has declared that we need "strong and stable leadership" rather than a "coalition of chaos" to make Britain great again!

Mummy doesn’t feel the need to answer any questions; she never answers a question.

Do you think Theresa May is an attractive woman?
Are you following the British general election campaign?

Whenever Theresa May talks what’s interesting is not what she says, as her words are no more than bland platitudes, but what’s interesting is that she talks as if she’s riding on a man’s cock. Oh she is!

Even though I’m not a Tory, I’d be very happy for Theresa May to ride my cock! At least I could sell my story to the newspapers to get rich and to bring her down at the same time. Now that’s a double whammy!

For those who don’t like politics I suggest you stop reading now as the next bit is all about politics, though you may want to look at the photos of Theresa May riding cowgirl!

Though the general election has only just been called, I’m already bored by the inanity of the campaign.

Despite Theresa May claiming that this general election will be a very important step in delivering Brexit, this election is all about political opportunism. Now I know all politicians are opportunists but occasionally they stand for something. The only thing Theresa May is standing for is herself and her party.

Theresa May's plea that she needs a fresh mandate for the Brexit negotiations is rubbish. There’ll be no serious opposition to Brexit because of the referendum result. Only the Liberal Democrats and the Greens are promising a second referendum on Brexit and unless there's a hung parliament they’ll be in no position to influence anything.

There will be no hung parliament and therefore no coalition government after next month’s general election because the Tories are a good 20 points ahead in the polls. This week’s local elections confirmed that the country is turning even more Tory.

Though the Conservatives have only a small majority in the House of Commons, this has not been a major problem for the Prime Minister as, with the exception of a vote to bomb Syria, the Conservative Government has won all important votes in the House of Commons since 2010.

There is nothing now stopping Theresa May’s Government from negotiating a Brexit deal. So why call an election?

As mentioned, this general election has been called solely for reasons of political opportunism. I think the reasons for what Theresa May is doing are fourfold. First, the outcome of the general election will almost certainly result in far more Conservative MPs and far less Labour MPs. Opportunism!

Second, the election will allow the Conservatives to ditch certain promises they made in the last election, such as possibly ditching its promises not to increase taxes, to protect state pensions, to cut immigration and to protect the international aid budget. More opportunism!

Third, the Brexit negotiations are not likely to go well - already there was a disastrous lunch between the Prime Minister and the European Commission's President which revealed massive differences between the UK and the rest of the EU. It’s highly likely that the Brexit deal as it unfolds will not be good for Britain. For example, the Trump administration has already reneged on its promise to negotiate a free trade deal with the UK quickly; the US will first negotiate a trade deal first with the more economically powerful EU instead. An early general election allows the Government to ride out this Brexit bad news well before the next general election in 2022. Again further opportunism!

Fourth, I think this election is part of Theresa May's political strategy to recast herself in the mould of Margaret Thatcher. It allows her to reinvent herself from a just-lukewarm Remainer to a fully-fledged Brexiteer, thus attracting more political, media and popular support. The election will allow her to forget her past. When people look back and compare Theresa May with Margaret Thatcher, they’ll find that she did what Margaret Thatcher didn’t do. Yet again, even more opportunism!

This general election won’t change the outcome of Brexit negotiations but it will change the fortunes of Theresa May and her Conservative Party.

What do you think will be the results of the general election next month in Britain?

I know predicting elections is a dangerous game - I got the last general election wrong (I said there’d be a hung parliament), I got the European Union referendum wrong (I said Remain would win) and I got the US presidential election wrong (I said it would be President Hillary Clinton). But I predict the Conservatives will comfortably win the next month’s general election.

I don’t think there’ll be a landslide victory for the Conservatives; they’ll just have a bigger majority in the House of Commons than what they have now. So what’s the point of this election?!

Mummy is about to cum so this is the finale of the Mummy Will Save Us art exhibition!

PS. Andrea Leadson wants it be known that Theresa May is no mummy!

Posted:May 3, 2017 12:00 pm
Last Updated:Jun 6, 2017 4:25 am

Nearly all people know that Rod Stewart had a hit with Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?, most people know that Wayne Gretzky is one of the greatest ever ice hockey players but not many people know that Rod Stewart’s is a professional ice hockey player.

Liam Stewart, the of Rod Stewart and Rachel Hunter, plays for Coventry Blaze in UK’s top ice hockey league. He also plays for the Great Britain ice hockey team, who last weekend were crowned champions of the International Ice Hockey Federation’s Division 1B.

Great Britain are now one league away from the big boys, like Canada, Finland, Sweden, Russia and the US. Though the Stanley Cup is named after a Briton, Lord Stanley of Preston, though Britain once won an ice hockey gold medal in the 1936 Winter Olympics, and though ice hockey is the fifth most popular spectator sport in the country, Britain isn’t an ice hockey force in the world.

British ice hockey teams are dominated by import players, mainly from Canada. As in football and other sports, there’s the perennial debate that import players are denying opportunities to home-grown players. I don’t subscribe to this view. I think the presence of import players raises the standards of ice hockey and of British ice hockey players.

Are you a fan of ice hockey?
Are you a fan of Rod Stewart?
Da ya think I’m sexy?

Ice hockey is one of my favourite sports to watch. It’s much better live than on television; it’s a very fast game. I’ve just realised I’ve blogged a lot about ice hockey - and it is ice hockey because hockey is field hockey! - see my THE NHL LOCKOUT, WHAT HAS CHANGED IN THE WORLD SINCE 1956, A HOCKEY SHOOTOUT and LETS GO PANTHERS posts.

My team Nottingham Panthers didn’t do very well this season. Though they won a European cup, the first time a British team has won such a cup, they didn’t challenge for any domestic honours. But there’s always next season. Let’s go Panthers!

As well as being an avid model railway enthusiast, Rod Stewart - sorry I meant Sir Rod Stewart - has a reputation for his many liaisons with women, mainly models, actresses and wives of other men. Rod Stewart has eight with five different women.

Below are photos of Rod Stewart with Britt Ekland, Alana Hamilton, Kelly Emberg, Rachel Hunter and Penny Lancaster. I think it's clear what he likes and they seem to get bigger with every next liaison!

Some guys have all the puck!

Posted:May 1, 2017 10:43 am
Last Updated:Jun 6, 2017 4:24 am
This post is my contribution to the thirtieth virtual symposium diligently coordinated by the cult leaderess, pocogato12. Please visit the Virtual Symposium Group’s #30 MAY TOPIC: DREAMS place to LINK is HERE on 5/1 post to read other contributions to the 'Dreams' virtual symposium.

I rarely remember my dreams. Scientists have found that within five minutes of waking up half of a person’s dream has been forgotten and that after ten minutes 90 percent has been forgotten.

Only fragments of my dreams can be recalled, whether it’s me flying, a tap dripping or a ball bouncing.

In my teenage years I had a very erotic dream - I’m not sure whether it was a wet one - about a frizzy-haired topless woman wearing a denim jacket. I blogged about this dream for the previous virtual symposium on dreams - please see my I LIKE DREAMING IN DENIM post.

I know many people like interpreting their dreams but I attach very little significance to my dreams.

Do you regularly remember your dreams?
Do you think dreams can be interpreted in a meaningful way?

D:Ream, see above photo, were a 1990s British pop group. They had a number one hit with Things Can Only Get Better in 1994. The Labour Party used the song as part of its general election campaign in 1997. The song is synonymous with Tony Blair’s New Labour, but unfortunately D:Ream’s title never came true!

D:Ream’s keyboard player was Brian Cox, see photo below, who is now the Professor of Particle Physics at the University of Manchester. He is also the BBC’s face of space on television. However, it’s less widely known that Brian Cox only played keyboards when D:Ream was playing live; D:Ream’s lead singer Peter Cunnah played the keyboards in the recording studios. Brian Cox was good but he wasn't that good!

Also less widely known is that a sex doll was modelled on Brian Cox. This bit of news was reported by the Sunday Sport newspaper, so it must be true! A lot of my female friends quite fancy Brian Cox but they have all stopped short of sampling his love doll.

Have you noticed how sex dolls are often called love dolls nowadays?!

Posted:Apr 28, 2017 12:13 pm
Last Updated:Jul 12, 2017 11:16 am

Miss BumBum is an annual contest to find the woman with the best bum (or ass to my American friends) in Brazil.

There are always 27 contestants as each of the 27 Brazilian states puts forward a so-called bootylicious candidate. As well as winning a cash prize, the winner usually becomes an instant celebrity in Brazil.

After 17 million Brazilians casted a vote in the contest, Erika Canela was crowned last year’s winner. With a 42 inch-bottom, she took home a £18,000 prize and a lucrative modelling contract. Erica Canela, after winning, also got a tattoo of Donald Trump to adorn her body on the same day that Trump got elected as US President!

Erica Canela was also subject to the amorous attentions of the top footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo of Real Madrid, who had previously bedded a previous Miss BumBum contestant, the Brazilian model Andressa Urach.

It seems Cristiano Ronaldo has a fetish for a bit of BumBum! Perhaps he’s trying to subjectify what is being objectified!

Would you attend the Miss BumBum contest?
If you were a judge of the Miss BumBum contest, what criteria would you use to decide who has the best bum?
Have you ever attended or participated in a beauty contest?

Despite, or maybe because of, being described by one critic as "a spectacular feast of the flesh", I wouldn’t turn down an invitation to attend the ceremony of Brazil’s Miss BumBum contest.

Attending the Miss BumBum contest may be my only chance to save the world by checking out whether the deforestation of the Amazon is serious issue for mankind to sort out!

Erica Canela:

Andressa Urach:

Posted:Apr 26, 2017 9:47 am
Last Updated:May 6, 2017 4:04 am

I’ve just written a song. My song, H.N.W.C.O., should be sung along to the tune of Ottawan’s hit song, D.I.S.C.O..


She is H, horny
She is N, naughty
She is W, wicked
She is C, complicated
She is Ooooo

She is H, such a hottie
She is N, nice and easy
She is W, a sexy woman
She is C, such a cutie
She is Ooooo


She is H, horrendous
She is N, nasty nasty
She is W, always wrong
She is C, crazy crazy
She is Ooooo

She is H, hot hot hot
She is N, such a nympho
She is W, always wet
She is C, sweetest candy
She is Ooooo


Astonishingly, Ottawan’s D.I.S.C.O. song never topped the charts in the UK when it was released in 1980. I’m hoping my song will do much better or at least be someone’s earworm. Disco is always good for an earworm.

When was the last time you danced to disco?
Do you have any regular earworm songs?

Ottawan’s D.I.S.C.O. is a very frequent earworm in my head. My other regular earworm songs are Chic’s Le Freak, Rose Royce’s Car Wash, Pointer Sisters’ I’m So Excited, Right Said Fred’s I’m Too Sexy, Kool & The Gang’s Celebration, Dolly Parton’s Jolene, Lee Marvin’s I Was Born Under a Wandering Star, Rod Stewart’s Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?, Neil Hefti’s Batman Theme, and Mike Batt’s Remember You’re a Womble!

Posted:Apr 24, 2017 12:18 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2017 3:44 am

The au naturel look, at least for me, is always the best look. Apart from occasionally shaving parts of face, which I do quite badly, I don’t shave. And I prefer my partners not to shave, though I’ve yet to go out with a partner who doesn’t shave somewhere on their body.

What parts of your body do you shave?
What parts of the body of your partner do you prefer shaved?

I think armpits are sexy. Below are nine armpits, some shaved and some not shaven.

Can you work out whose armpits they are?

Because I’m feeling flush, there will be a very expensive prize awarded to the person who can first guess the most armpits!

I think armpits have been neglected in discussion in blogland. I guess there must be people who indulge in armpit-fucking. I have not yet indulged but I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t indulge!









Posted:Apr 23, 2017 1:18 pm
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2021 4:35 am

This morning, like every morning, I was milking a cow for my milk but I thought I’d change the routine and tell my cow a joke. After hearing the joke, my cow said, "Pull the udder one!"

Why do divers enter the water backwards?
Because if divers entered forwards, they’d fall into the boat!

I’ve noticed Mr kzoo, aka kzoopair, isn’t blogging so much. This could be a safeguarding issue - what’s happened to Mrs kzoo, what’s happened to Gracie? what’s happened to Marco? I fear the authorities need to know!

Have you ever done a dive?
Have you ever milked a cow?
Are you missing Mr kzoo’s blog posts?

I’ve not done any serious diving, whether snorkel or scuba, but I’ve done a spectacular belly-flop from the top diving board of my local swimming pool!

I’ve milked a cow; I am a farmer’s after all!

But more important, I’m missing Mr kzoo’s blog posts of what is happening in his nearby woods even if I have to shut my eyes at the evidence of what’s happening!

But I fear that Mr kzoo may have been lost in the Battle of the Alamo many, many decades ago - see Percy Moran's painting below showing Mr kzoo, on the very right, trying to help a man being shot, or is he really trying to grope the breast of a man who doesn't seem to be in any position to defend himself from Mr kzoo’s groping?!

Posted:Apr 16, 2017 12:55 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2017 3:43 am

I was going to write a blog post about crazy, strange and weird festivals but there are too many around the world to cover in one post. I then decided to focus just on one festival, the annual Montana Testicle Festival. If I ever visit Montana, I’ll watch my balls!

I think it’s better to hear about the Montana Testicle Festival first hand. Below is a review of the festival, written by Kelly O and published on the VICE website.

I first discovered the Montana Testicle Festival in 2005, via an old VHS tape I bought at a thrift store. It came in a bright red case with a simple black-and-white label that read "The 16th Annual TESTICLE FESTIVAL©, Volume II, 1998. 16 Years of Having a Ball!" Then, in smaller type, "WARNING: Contains frontal nudity and lots of balls."

I wasn't quite prepared for what I saw, despite the clearly printed label - the "Itty Bitty Titty" contest, "Big Dick" competition, and bull-testicle eat-off that soon appeared onscreen were branded into my brain for years to come, not unlike a propriety tag burned into a cowhide.

Flash-forward to 2007, when I decided to attend the five-day festival that's been happening in Clinton, Montana, since 1982. I piled three girlfriends into a rental car, and the four of us drove seven hours from Seattle, across the state of Washington and a small chunk of Idaho, into western Montana for the event, which had haunted my dreams ever since picking up that VHS. That year, we watched not only the Testicle Festival's main event - the competitive eating of bull balls (a.k.a. "Rocky Mountain oysters") - but also a women's hot oil wrestling contest, a women's wet-T-shirt event, and a men's "big ball" competition (basically a "wet underwear show" with dudes).

“If I see another naked nudist wearing a cock ring, I am going to barf," said one of my pals. We left before I had the chance to try the "oysters," and my curiosity wasn't sated - here was something uniquely surreal about a festival where a bunch of bikers gathered to eat fried cattle genitals. Last weekend, I finally went back to Montana for the 33rd annual festival to properly document the strange spectacle and eat bull balls for the first time.

At high noon on Saturday, August 1, in 97-degree heat, I arrived at the Rock Creek Lodge near Interstate 90, Exit 126. The area was surrounded by dozens of motorcycles, RVs, tents, and attendees ready to munch on some nuts. I got some beer and took in the scenery - bikers, locals, and noticeably fewer naked people than my last visit. Two people hauled out what the cook would later tell me were 30 pounds of sliced and fried cow testicles. They smelled good, even with the sun beating down on them. I guess anything battered and fried kinda smells good. Two women and seven men sat down on some picnic tables outside the lodge. After a proper countdown, a four-minute timer was set, and real Testicle Festival began.

Competitive eating contests are always brutal to watch, but knowing that this one spawned out of a tradition of ranchers meeting up in the area to brand and castrate their cattle together made it even harder to digest - literally and figuratively. A biker named "Big Daddy" stripped off his T-shirt that just said "VIKING" on it, and went hard on his paper plate over stacked with steaming hot cow balls. At the end of the first plate, he noticeably looked nauseous. Another women took a ball break, and quickly took a hit of weed, likely for the same reason.

In the end, Matt Powers, owner of the lodge and of the festival, won, eating two plates (over two pounds) of cow testies in under four minutes. He smiled through some visible discomfort for some photos.

"Out of ten competitions, in ten years, I've lost twice," Powers told me. To win you have to eat "at least a half pound in a minute." Powers stuck up for the health benefits of bull balls, saying, "They do a body good - a great source of protein, omega 6, and fatty acids." He'd even eat them if they were roasted rather than fried. He's not the only one who thinks so. The festival cook told me that attendees had gone through 600 or 700 pounds of balls last year.

When he's not organizing the Montana Testicle Festival, Powers is the head coach of the state's number-one fight team, the Pound. He also coaches wrestling and is in the works of organizing the Montana State Hempfest in September.

"Between Testy Fest, my fighters, and my efforts to legalize marijuana, some might say I'm Montana's most hated man," he said. "But I'm really a nice guy! I'm just trying to make a living, you know?"

Guy, a.k.a. Big Daddy, a.k.a. the Shirtless Viking, a regular attendee of the Testy Fest, told me that they don't, in fact, taste like chicken. "No, ma'am!" he said while pulling on his suspenders. "They taste like balls. Breaded balls." He told me that no two balls are the same, and some of the treats on his plate in the eating competition were soggy, while others were crispy. Another participant added that he thought they tasted like chicken gizzard, and I overheard another woman tell her boyfriend, "They taste like chicken nuggets - the cheap frozen ones, like what we get from Walmart."

I tried one myself - "Suck it down, girl! It's good!" Big Daddy shouted as I chewed - and underneath the breading, it reminded me not of oysters but of geoduck (pronounced "gooey duck") - the penis of the sea. Maybe I just had genitals on the brain - and, well, in my mouth.

"I'm so fucking full right now. I can't even drink a beer," said an attendee named Cecil the Red. "That's bad, if I can't even fit a beer in there among all the balls." When I asked if he'd be interested in trying the balls if they were prepared differently, he thought about it for a minute before answering, "I kinda wonder what they'd taste like on a barbecue. That might not be so bad."

“When I was a , I worked near a farm that would cut the young cows balls off and slice 'em thin, and serve them with eggs," he added. "They called it a calf scramble."

Sean, a festival organizer and the MC of all Testy Fest's events, told me the Undie 500 event is now almost as popular as the ball-eating competition and the ladies wet T-shirt contest. I find it a little hard to believe that watching some grown-ass men and women race around on oversized tricycles in their underwear is entertaining, but you could say the same about watching people eat bull balls.

"Our contests are crazy, but people wanna participate in something and be silly and have fun," Sean says. "Most of the contests involve nakedness and alcohol. Because of this—the nature of the festival - the authorities aren't always too happy about us, but we do everything we can to keep everyone safe. We have free bus rides home, tons of security, and we really do everything we can to make sure no one gets hurt out here. We also donate to charities - this year and last we gave around $5,000 to a charity benefitting testicular cancer."

Have you eaten a testicle?
Would you attend the Montana Testicle Festival?
Apart from testicles, what else Is Montana famous for?

I think the Montana Testicle Festival is so bad that it’s good! There’s a Montana steak grill bar very near where I live; I think I’ll go once I get castrated!

Posted:Apr 10, 2017 11:51 am
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2021 4:35 am

Miss Kinky, also called [blog kinkyfem73], mailed recently asking me to urgently accompany her to Mexico City. She added that Metro de la Ciudad de México will pay for my flight and hotel.

She explained that she has found the ultimate sex accessory while travelling on Mexico City’s metro system.

At her request, a penis seat has been installed on one of its trains. However, after many rides Miss Kinky wants a bigger penis on her seat, which is why she pleaded for me to go with her to Mexico City.

Under substantial pressure from Miss Kinky, the Metro de la Ciudad de México, which is responsible for the running of the city’s metro, has agreed to make a mould of my cock so a more superior specimen can adorn Miss Kinky’s metro seat.

Below are photos of Miss Kinky’s penis seat on one of Mexico City’s metro trains. One photo shows a man sitting on Miss Kinky’s seat, seemingly thoroughly enjoying the experience. The last photo shows what Miss Kinky did to the unfortunate man who dared to sit on her throne!

Would you sit on Miss Kinky’s metro seat?
If so, would you give up the seat if an elderly person, heavily pregnant woman or a disabled person boarded the metro train?
Have you ever been to Mexico City?

I’ve visited Mexico City with my then wife. Throughout the holiday my wife experienced a lot of sexual harassment, albeit low-level harassment. I couldn’t go to the toilet in a bar without returning to find my wife being pestered and harassed by men. My wife begged me halfway through the holiday not to go to a public toilet; it ended up being quite a wet holiday!

Mexico City Metro’s penis seat is part of a wider campaign against male harassment of women on public transport. This campaign, part funded by the United Nations, can be seen on a YouTube video - just search for 'Experimento Asiento'.

Some bloggers who may not be aware of Miss Kinky’s travels to Mexico will be very aware of Miss Sweet’s frequent travels to Mexico. Miss Sweet, also known as sweet_VM, always claims to be visiting Cancun in Mexico, but I have Trump-style evidence that, instead of being in the Yucatan, she’s holed up in Mexico City armed with all-day discounted tickets sitting on Miss Kinky’s seat on the metro's circular line!

For those who want to read more of [blog kinkyfem73]’s kinky shenanigans, please go to my PIMPING KINKY post.

Posted:Apr 7, 2017 11:29 am
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2017 8:06 am
This post is my contribution to the twenty-ninth virtual symposium coordinated by the ultimate cult leaderess, pocogato12. Please visit the Virtual Symposium Group’s #29 Participant Link APRIL Hotels/Motels post to read other contributions to the 'Hotels/Motels' virtual symposium.

Banksy is probably the world’s most famous graffiti artist. His provocative art first appeared anonymously in the English city of Bristol, then the rest of the country and now the rest of the world.

Banksy has done some fantastically subversive graffiti on the security wall the Israelis built in the West Bank to keep the Palestinians out - see the images above.

And now Banksy has just opened The Walled Off Hotel in the West Bank’s Bethlehem, named after the illustrious Waldorf Hotel in London - see the images below. Banksy’s hotel is just a few metres away from the security wall that divides Israelis and Palestinians in the West Bank.

Banksy claimed that The Walled Off Hotel offers "the worst view in the world"; an Israeli security watchtower can be seen from one of its rooms. The cheapest rooms in the hotel costs just £25 a night.

The hotel’s bar is decorated with security cameras and slingshots is seen in the bar area of the hotel. One of the hotel’s bedrooms is adorned with a painting of Jesus Christ with a sniper's dot on his forehead.

The hotel’s 'luxury' bedroom is room number three, known as Banksy’s Room, where guests sleep in a king-size bed underneath Banksy’s artwork showing an Israeli border guard having a pillow fight with a Palestinian civilian.

Would you stay in The Walled Off Hotel in the West Bank?

I hope Banksy gets to work as soon as Trump builds his wall across the American-Mexican border. But rumour has it that Trump is planning a fence and not a wall so Banksy can’t draw unflattering pieces of graffiti of the US President. Trump’s wall (or fence) is going to be a magnet for some great protest!

Local authorities used to remove the work of Banksy off the street but, since the art of Banksy has become very popular and the stuff of coffee table books, they are now keen to keep his graffiti art on their streets.

The singer, Christina Aguilera, bought one Banksy picture of Queen Victoria riding a , see image posted inside, for £25,000. The actress, Angelina Jolie, spent £200,000 on his works in 2006, including £120,000 for his interpretation of an Édouard Manet painting of a picnic. One of Banksy's murals recently sold for £288,000. Graffiti is clearly now big business!

If you want to read more about Banksy, please see my GRAFFITI blog post.

For some reason, I’ve also posted a lot about hotels on my blog – see HOTELS ARE SEXY, PREMIER INN, A BUDGET HOTEL, THE BIKINI HOTEL and HOTEL ANTARCTICA posts, as well as the ESS AND EMM post detailing my stay at a bdsm guest house!

Posted:Apr 5, 2017 1:54 pm
Last Updated:Jun 30, 2017 3:55 am

I live in Nottingham, the home of Robin Hood, lace and Speedos! My home is an apartment in the city centre of Nottingham, very close to the bars, restaurants and shops.

Nottingham has a reputation for its shops. I want to take you shopping in Nottingham.

The city centre is very easy to walk around. There are two large shopping centres at either end of the city centre with a street connecting the two shopping centres. The street is called Bridlesmith Gate, gate is a Viking term for street, at one end and Clumber Street at the other end of the city centre.

Starting off just outside the Broadmarsh shopping centre, so called because it was a marsh as it lies on the flood plains of the river Trent, I want to take you first to the Paul Smith shop. Paul Smith is a tailor though he probably calls himself a fashion designer; the former Prime Minister Tony Blair wore Paul Smith suits. It’s an emporium, albeit an expensive emporium, for clothes. I bought a tie there once and it cost me over £100!

As we walk along Bridlesmith Gate, our next stop is Ted Baker, another clothes shop, but this is where I buy most of my clothes. Its clothes are smart casual and though not cheap are well made. Also the staff will offer you a beer or a wine if you are doing some serious buying!

Opposite Ted Baker is Waterstone’s, a bookshop. I love bookshops and I can spend many an hour in a bookshop without buying any book.

We have to cross a road where the trams on and we’re on Clumber Street. Our next stop is Lush which sells all things for the bathroom. The aroma of its hand-made products can be smelled on the street.

After the Lush experience, I’ll take you to a more downmarket experience of a Wilko store. Wilko is basically the modern day equivalent of Woolworths. It sells everything for your home from paint to shampoo, lamps to stationery and tools to mugs. I have to walk methodically through every aisle because I may miss something useful or even useless to buy.

At the end of Clumber Street we have to cross Parliament Street, so named because Nottingham was on the side of Cromwell’s Roundhead parliamentarians against King Charles' Cavalier royalists during the English Civil War. Nottingham hedged its bets in this war as there is also a King Street and a Queen Street in the city centre.

As we cross Parliament Street we are about to approach my favourite shop, John Lewis. John Lewis is a cooperative, all of its staff has a stake in the company which largely explains why staff service is brilliant.

John Lewis is a department store; you can buy almost everything here so long as it’s not tat. My home is largely furnished from John Lewis. It’s my favourite shop for Christmas shopping; two hours spent there is enough to do almost all my Xmas presents!

What’s your favourite shop where you live?
Do you like shopping?

I’m a functional shopper; if I need or want something I shop for that something. In and out!

If you want to know more about Nottingham, please see my blog posts WHERE I LIVE and YE OLDE TRIP TO JERUSALEM.

Posted:Apr 1, 2017 2:54 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2017 3:40 am

It’s not easy sharing the same surname as the American President. Just ask Judd Trump.

Born in England, Judd Trump is a top-ranked professional snooker player - see photo above. He is not related to Donald Trump.

Since Donald Trump was elected to be the US President, Judd Trump has experienced a series of bizarre events.

Whenever he plays at tournaments, many women spectators regularly shout 'Grab my pussy'’ just as he’s about to make a shot at the snooker table. One ardent fan, who travels the length and breadth of the country to watch Judd Trump play, always sits in the front row wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with 'Grab my Pussy'. Her presence at snooker tournaments has caused havoc with the BBC when televising live.

As a top ranked snooker player, Judd Trump is regularly invited to play in many snooker tournaments abroad. However, he was not allowed to play in the prestigious Dubai Classic tournament because the United Arab Emirates, a predominantly Muslim country, rescinded his visa just before he was to board his flight at Heathrow airport.

Last month, Judd Trump woke up one morning at his home near Bristol only to find that a six foot-high wall built from Lego bricks had been erected all around his house. He was also sent an invoice billing him for the cost of building the wall. A journalist of the local newspaper, the Bristol Post, investigated this incident but was unable to confirm rumours that the Mexican Embassy was behind this prank.

Earlier this week Judd Trump received an invitation from a top hotel in Moscow to stay in its luxury bedroom, The Golden Shower Suite, free of charge for a month. Though luxury-appointed, the bedroom is not en suite but the hotel manager explained that there’s no need for a toilet in this suite when the bedding is all waterproofed.

Exasperated with all these goings-on, Judd Trump recently approached Avon and Somerset Constabulary. However, the police were unable to help the snooker player apart from advising him to change his surname.

Posted:Mar 27, 2017 12:07 pm
Last Updated:Apr 14, 2017 1:41 pm
Yellow River:

Yellow Sea:

I haven’t been around much in blogland over the last week. I’m now faced with a river or even a sea of yellow. Over the next couple of a few days I’ll wade through this friendly yellow.

The reason that I haven’t been around much is because of my job. The last few months have been very busy at work. The pressure has been intense and even overwhelming at times. I’ve been getting up early in the mornings to work and working well into the evenings. Weekends have become like working weekdays.

I’m so fed up with work that I’m seriously thinking of giving up my job. My job sounds good on paper, but I’ve been in my present job for over ten years and I’ve never enjoyed it. I keep thinking it’ll get better and it never does. I think it’s time to leave.

At work, I’m seriously pissed off with senior management who became managers because they want the status and money rather than getting their hands dirty on the frontline doing something useful, who think they know best, who set arbitrary deadlines convenient to them for others to get work done by, who don’t listen to their staff they manage and walk out of meetings when staff have the audacity to complain, who have loads of administrative support to do their jobs, who increase the workload of their staff in the name of efficiency, who hide behind technology thinking it’s the best way to communicate with staff, who always take the credit of work done by others, who blame their staff for every mistake made on their watch, and who talk a language I don’t understand - it’s called corporate guff!

The suits can just shove their mission statements, strategy documents and key performance indicators up their fucking arse!

What’s been your best and worst job you’ve done?

My best job was in my present occupation but with another employer and my worst job is my job now. I am just a wage slave now!

Today I was forced to watch a 10-minute video clip on modern slavery by my employer. I know modern slavery is important but I had to watch it otherwise I’d be reported to my line manager.

As Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels wrote in The Communist Manifesto, published in 1848, "Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!"

Above is the Yellow River that flows into the Yellow Sea; below is the brownish Yellow River and the greenish Yellow Sea. That’s China for you!

Yellow River:

Yellow Sea:

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